I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
