So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
