Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize