hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize