and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
