it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
