Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
is that a dick in a sweater?
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
