no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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