The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
