Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
