You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
