We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
