In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
