i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
