I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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