that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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