Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
