return my video game
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Randomize
