idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
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