Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Randomize
