Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
We got so high we made milksteak
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Randomize
