Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
Holy sore nipples Batman
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Randomize
