She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
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