? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
