I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
