he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
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