that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
Randomize
