Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
