its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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