I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
Randomize
