my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
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