"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
