and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
