Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
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