So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
