yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
