it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
