Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
