ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
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