just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Randomize
