I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
