what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
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