I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
So much rum. So many feels.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
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