ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I said "one day" and that day is not today
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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