i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Nearly got hit by a blue bell ice cream truck. Can I count on you to make plenty of puns like "her life was sweet, and so was her death" at my funeral if that was to happen?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
