If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
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