I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
The feeling are messing with the penis
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
