you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
