It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Randomize
