she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Randomize
