Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Randomize
