I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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