Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Holy shit dude........stairs
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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