It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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