I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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