hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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