Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
Randomize
