I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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