This girl is more easily done than said...
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
