I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
My dick has a subreddit
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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