apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I JUST MADE OUT WITH A BRITISH SOCCER PLAYER. LONG LIVE THE QUEEN. GOD BLESS THAT COUNTRY.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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