I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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