I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Randomize
