Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
