is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
