dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Randomize
