Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
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