Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize