your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
She needs sedatives and a leash
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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