she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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