Porn is love you can see.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I was not drunk enough for that final.
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