she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Randomize
